Homie, last year when I took the flight to the states, I was so happy and excited because I knew that it won’t take long until I see you again. The flight seemed forever and I was so impatient. But all came different. So different that it change my whole life. From one moment to the other all my dreams were destroyed. I will never ever forget the moment Mom told me about your accident. I screamed and cried and just couldn’t stop. I felt empty. Jonathan, I still have that feeling. I sill can’t move on because I don’t know how. What to do? Where to go? I am running away from my feelings. I hurt others because my heart hurts. I do things that help me for the moment…but when the night comes all my pain is there again. You were the love of my life homie-we gave the big promise to each other…für immer und ewig. Jonathan, I am sorry that I disappointed you sometimes and hurt your feelings. It wasn’t my intention to do that. Please forgive me. Forgive me for acting stupid and giving us a hard time-I am sorry for that. All the things I did wrong were because I love you so much and that feeling scared me sometimes. You told me that I made you do things you regret and I know that babe-I know that and I forgive you. I have to let you go so you can rest in peace. I tried it so many times. I send you a message in a bottle on my birthday and I am sure you received it. I wanted to say goodbye but you took such a big piece of my heart with you…gib mir kraft mein leben ohne dich zu leben. Beschütze mich und zeige mir den richtigen Weg. Darum bitte ich Dich. Watch over Mom and Dad, ok homie? In neverending Love, yours Marjam That’s a beautiful song that really speaks out of my soul: I'm making flowers out of paper While darkness takes the afternoon I know that they won't last forever But real ones fade away to soon I still cry sometimes when I remember you I still cry sometimes when I hear your name I said goodbye and I know you're alright now But when the leaves start falling down I still cry It's just that I recall September It's just that I still hear your song It's just I can't seem to remember Forever more those days are gone I still cry sometimes when I remember you I still cry sometimes when I hear your name I said goodbye and i know you're alright now But when the leaves start falling down I still cry